Hey there, it’s been a long time since I have last posted, for those of you that forgot I had a blog, ‘surprise’, for those that have asked me to carry on posting, ‘surprise’.
After writing my testimony, I started to realise the challenge of carrying that on. The first challenge is, my first testimony was easier to write, it was about my past and how the lord delivered me from it. Secondly, is the work that needs to be done in my life to write what I want to write. You see I wanted to write about the challenges in my life to lead and direct and encourage others going through the same thing. (not that I am full of wisdom or anything, but..) We all go through issues that we often think we are alone and too ashamed to talk about it. I always told myself there is nothing that is too shameful to talk about, there is nothing too bad that we need to hide and there is no reason for us to keep our issues to ourselves so that we don’t bother others.
These are the three things that I struggle with and have often brought me to my knees before the Lord. Where I have kept something silent because I don’t want others to know ‘the real me’. Where I have done something bad or naughty and I don’t know how to handle it, so I will try and handle it alone instead of seeking help. Lastly where I have kept my issues to myself for so long that they ate me up inside and guilt took it’s place in my heart. It’s silly, it took me far from the Lord and I ended up leaving the church for a long time.
Now that I am back and you all know the story how, I want to make sure that everyone knows that it’s okay. It’s okay to fall, to have your weaknesses and to fail, even if it’s a couple times a day, it’s okay. It’s okay to get mad, really, it is and frustration is a normal feeling, it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to scream ( I come from a house full of girls, so screaming is VERY normal for me). All these things are okay, as long as your hearts in a place where you want to grow and change. it will happen. When, where and how? that’s none of our business. Accept yourself the way the Lord accepts you and desire to grow the way the Lord wants you to and you shall. If you love Jesus and want to be like Him, the Lord will do that in you. When, where and how? Again, that’s none of our business, but it will happen.
So, be prepared everyone, my life is an open book, literally. I have fears, I make mistakes, I miss opportunities to be used of God and I often take the things of the Lord lightly. I forget to pray and sometimes lose my bible. I can hold a grudge against someone for so long that I forget why, I struggle to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Admitting I am wrong is a challenge and not letting pride sneak into my heart when I am right is another challenge. I am an imperfect young girl with a perfect God living in me, although I struggle to accept myself, the Lord accepts me and even though I have all these ‘defects’, Jesus loves me and has a plan for me as He has for all of you.
I’m on the road to perfection and so are you, so let us walk and walk with a joy in our hearts because at the end of the day, the Lord will have His way and His Will shall be done in our lives.
I better go now, otherwise I will type till you all get bored, which I hope hasn’t happened yet.
until the next post, have a lovely day/night/ weekend etc..